Scrubs

Not that I mind French tv, but at 11pm and on, it gets a little too difficult to concentrate and all your brain wants to do is default to homeland humor. 

So I was quite excited when I found Scrubs in English last night on my tv. AND as a bonus, they were episodes I’d never seen before! 

[Insert Profound Observation Here:]

After reading the French subtitles, I found that there is absolutely NO comparison for the fast-paced American sarcasm that fires out of Cox’s mouth on the regular.

[End]

For the first time, I pity the refinement and specificity of the French language.  The American language can be harsh and crude, but at times, this can be like throwing a speedball at your endorphins and they just go berserk.

Thank you for that tasty refreshment, can I get some more?

Oscar

Nickname: Wild Thing

BEWARE: Prone to sneak attacks, take caution

Description: Attention-seeker, precocious artist, mischievous fibber, future ladies man

Profile: This is Oscar.  He is 5 1/2. He goes to a public French school, but knows English. He also does sports, painting, and theater.

While vacationing at the beach, I had to share the kid’s bathroom.  One morning I am getting ready to take a shower and tell Oscar not to open the door. But he responds with “Mais, j’ai envie de regarder.” (accompanied with a deviant smile). Translate at your own risk. 

Could spend hours looking at himself in the mirror, styling his hair.

He is very fond of Superheroes and medieval knights.  His favorites are Zorro, Batman, and Superman. He has a life-size sword, shield, and helmet, as well as, an army of PlayMobil men to protect him from attacks. En garde!

Devils and Tigers

 

Who knew I would see dragons, legions, a bull, an owl, and the devil’s jester all in one day.  Only in France do the Chinese New Year and Carnaval parades collide on the streets of Paris.

The year of the Tiger. This animal is associated with the virtues of enthusiasm, passion, honesty and warmth and foibles including irascibility and recklessness.

    

This was my first exposure to any kind of traditional eastern festivity.  Apparently Paris has a fairly large French-Chinese population.  This festival is one of the city’s biggest celebrations. Unfortunately, this was not in Paris’ Chinatown, but that will be next weekend and a much larger spectacle. 

Along the way I stopped in a Chinese restaurant where I was able to buy some food à emporter. I have no idea what the Chinese dishes are called in the States, let alone the French names for them. But bought un brioche grillée au porc, un brioche aux sésames et a shrimp spring roll. This food was soooo good and soooo cheap. The pork brioche was like a big dumpling type ball stuffed with pork and the sesame brioche was deep-fried covered in sesames and stuffed with red and white bean paste – a delish, non-overpowering sweetness.

    

Succeeding the Chinese were the drunk, decorated South Americans. The Carnaval parade was vibrant and more energetic than the Chinese.  But both were well worth my fingers and toes going numb.  

  

After the parade, I found the nearest cafe which was like walking into The Rocky Horror Picture Show’s set designer’s personal sanctuary.  I have never seen so many animal prints – leopard, zebra, giraffe, cheetah, etc….Then if a wall, chair, support beam, bar stool, tabletop, waitress wasn’t covered in feline fur, it was Marilyn Monroe – plates, cups, saucers, pinups, cut-outs, etc…This place was wild.

MP

New band to check out on Monterey Purple!

Random Things

1. The residue left from the snow flurries makes the pavement glitter at night.  It is Beautiful.

2. RIP McQueen and Kumaritashvili.

3. IT IS possible to be 65, have a 2 yr old, a daughter older than your wife, and a grandson older than your own son…

4. For what it lacks in size, it makes up for in comfort and vanity…total fan of comfy mattress and full length mirrors :)

5. I have perfected the Frat House Potty Squat due to my nonexistent supply of toilet paper.

6. Dopey = Simplet in French…très mignon!

7. There is a sushi place right at the bottom of my building and I absolutely cannot wait to try it out!! They have the simple-chic rotating plates color coordinated to the price…now i just need someone to go with :/

8. Duck, Duck, Goose is called Tomato, Ketchup in France…I kind of like it. Get it? You know…like Catch-up…Ketchup? yyyyeaaaaa

9. A couple blocks away from is a famous hotel, Lutetia, celebrating it’s 100th anniversary - it was the first Art Deco hotel in Paris. During WWII Hitler had an office there…that’s pretty cool.

Bon Appétit

So I think I ate horse? the other night. I was eating dinner with the family and the mom asked me to try the ‘hamburger’ beef to see if it tasted a little different to me because Oscar said it did. So I tried it, and I thought I was going to puke from the initial nanosecond smell/taste of poop surging through my senses. Thank goodness it subsided enough for me to swallow. The rest of my chewing and eating was fine – just a little off from the regular beef savor. 

So then the mom starts talking about how she hopes it’s not horse because some people in France eat that…she said she used to eat it a lot when she was younger but they eventually banned it – um gee I wonder why? – but that you could still find it some places.

And then she goes on and on about how it is also not unheard of to eat ostrich – whoa – please just let me eat the mystery meat woman. Although I did have to inquire into that suggestion.

ME: So what does ostrich meat look like? this?

HER: Yes, just like that…like normal meat.

ME: And what does it taste like?

HER: Bahh….kind of shrugs.

ME: (to myself) Great. – Then I proceed to bring up the Chinese ‘cat’ meat theory from the States to play it off like I am totally okay with was is happening right now.

HER: She smiles and then all she has to offer is a Bon Appétit! with a chuckle

So I guess we will never know if it was horse, ostrich, liger, or some other uninformed prey.

Ironic He Was by the Cat Food…

I was in the grocery store today – La Grande Epicerie – you know it’s next to Le Bon Marché , supposed to be an upscale place…they have a lot of prepared foods, foreign foods, natural foods, its spacious etc…so I am over by the cleaning products which is where the toilet paper, paper towels, tissues, and conveniently the pet supplies. I am looking around for something and can barely stand the stench coming from the animal section. I definitely looked over a couple times to make sure there were not any live animals in cages because the odor was so real and STRONG. As I hold my breath and try to find what I am looking for as quickly as possible I swear I hear a rustle by the cat food…Me, thinking the fumes have gone to my head making me delirious, cant shake the noise…then out of my peripheral I see movement.  NOW, my logical half must test my mental stability, so I turn to stare in the general direction half of me hoping the possibility of being clinically diagnosed as insane is untrue.  All of sudden I see a f-ing MOUSE!!!

Oh   My   God --- ok pause…so the good thing - I concluded that I am not going mental…unpause --- is this a joke?!? I mean at least Fievel was in the right section of the store. But seriously? There is a live rodent in plain sight where I am buying my food. Awwwesome. For whatever illogical reason I am ok with finding a mouse in a food distribution warehouse or whatever but come on – NOT KOSHER, 5 feet away from the pickles….I have even been expecting to find a mouse in my bedroom before the end of it all, but I wasn’t quite ready for my Ratatouille experience just yet.

I thought about telling someone who worked there, but I was still playing yo-yo with the food in my throat…plus the store was closing in like 10 mins anyway.

And mice have to do their shopping sometime too right?? Right? :/

Super Bowl

I did manage to fight the windy, spicy cold and treacherous Parisian streets at midnight the night of February 7th, all for that craving of grown men tackling each other in hopes of preventing a piece of inflated pigskin from crossing a chalked line…Ahhh American football.

So I am on my way to a few bars in my area that I know are broadcasting the game.  My first stop, The Moosehead Cafe. As I approach, I see a line outside and groan as I wanted to enjoy a seat, a beer or two, and nice conversation with fellow fans.  But no, I see groups of study abroad students shelling out Maman and Papa’s $$ to get hammered and ‘experience’ France. Hmm…

So I am standing there watching the bouncers totally cheat Americans 20 Euros out of their national pastime and think to myself this cannot possibly be legal, as they Shhhsshh rowdy smokers in the street. Yea that’s what I thought, hustlers.

Obviously, my poor ass turned around and went to find the other bars. After going by 2 more bars that were charging money for admission 20-30 Euros with maybe a draft or two thrown in, I walk away hungry and sad that I won’t be enjoying my night with the Saints. 

I am walking back towards my place when I pass by Corcoran’s Irish Pub which I have frequented in the past. 

I see faces inside, taps lit, and screens hypnotizing. Even better no one standing at the door looking shady with a wad of cash in his hand….I knew this was by far my favorite bar in Paris.

Inside is perfect. Crowded but moveable.  I go to the bar to get a Kronenbourg while looking for an open seat somewhere.  I do not see anything so I stand for awhile watching the game. 

After a bit, a guy comes up to the bar and starts talking to me.  He is from Argentina.  Coupled with his poor, intoxicated English and my general lack of interest makes for a difficult conversation.

Eventually I head to the downstairs part with him where I find a seat and a big screen. At this point I am very content just watching the game and cheering alongside my fellow Americans sans dealing with questions like “Do you think I am cute?” and “Can I kiss you?”

Ok Go Away Now Please. Thank You.

Finally I am left alone to talk to two girls from Michigan, one of whom is studying graphic design at MICA - shout-out to Margs :)

Malheursement, 50%+ of the reason I watch the Super Bowl is for the commercials and of course why would they promote American commercials to a European audience.  But I did see much to my pleasure, the always satisfying Guinness ads.

“Bring it to Life”

Mais, fret not mes enfants – I watched the commercials online the next day, all 61 of them.

Royalty

This was drawn on the wall where Princess Di crashed.  Right next to it was a long note condemning modern consumerism and the corrupt links of the political world. It also made comments about how unbelievably tacit that people would ever think to honor MJ in the same vicinity of Di and that basically this wall and the mini Statue of Liberty Torch should be held as sacred artifacts enclosed in the same glass casing as the Mona Lisa and given the same attention as the preservation of Napoleon and Louis XIV’s legacies.

 

HOWEVER, I do not find it so odd that a King and Princess are memorialized in such close vicinities………….ha so cheesy :)

Carry out Anyone?

 

New post on Monterey Purple….Check it out!

Stint No. 2

It is always an adventure in Paris….

Beginning with my taxi ride from the airport to my new crib.  Leaving the taxi queue to enter into my nice Mercedes taxi, I am thinking this will be a nice break from the usual taxi services.  So everything is going fine - no meaningless conversation with the driver, just me looking out the window admiring the outskirts of the city.  I had even entertained the idea of asking for his number so when I needed a taxi, I would have a direct, reliable contact. Ha.

Then about halfway through the ride my focuses shifts to the driver after I peripherally notice a sharp jerk of his arm.  A little startled, I was determined to figure out what had just happened and start noticing that he is a little squeamish.  He keeps shifting in his seat, changing hands on the wheel, touching his face, etc.  I try to ignore this behavior and resume my contentment, but the psych major gets the best of me. and I just flat out intriguing stare at him the rest of the trip. 

I never quite figured out what his deal was except that he was either a super nervous dude in which case he might want to rethink his career choice OR he was just really hyper active and could not control his movements.  BUT the tip of the gross out scale came when he started plucking his ear hair.  Yes, the little fuzz that grows in and around your human wings, usually announcing the beginning of your ‘over the hill’ era when visible without a magnifying glass.

Overall, the guy wasn’t too hard on the eyes, late 40s early 50s…probably one of the more normal looking taxi drivers.  But the sight of his fat, stubby fingers with dirt underneath the fingernails reaching for those few hairs sticking out and then suddenly ripping them off just gives me the skeevies.

Gotta love the French.

New Reality Series: The Plane Life

So airplanes are like their own little village.  One could even say they are compatible to Las Vegas’ new CityCenter.  Here is why:

1. You step onto the plane to find your seat and most people are compelled to introduce themselves or acknowledge the person in their closest proximity.  Now call me old-fashioned but this seems to mirror the same friendly behavior of moving into a new neighborhood and taking your neighbor some goodies to introduce yourself and welcome them.

2. On most flights over 45 minutes, food and drink is offered.  This form of ritual imitates the act of going out for a night on the town. On longer flights, 1-2 complete meals may be served to asphyxiate any complaining tummies.  Now whether the tummy ends up complaining afterwards for different reasons remains undisclosed. 

3. All around there is life and activity - People shuffling through the aisles, opening and closing the overhead compartments to find their form of entertainment, jamming out with their headphones, watching movies, reading books, talking, etc. When you stop and look around, there is never a dull moment. 

4. The stewards/esses are always busy maintaining operations.  They can be seen as the parental force that provides for the Family and keeps mayhem from erupting onboard.

5. The pilots act as the governing body.  They make the decisions and keep everyone moving forward.

This aerial world can be be quite complex when given proper attention.  I am going to add finding a way to cause airborne drama to my list of social experiments.  It would be interesting to start relatively innocent drama within a plane and see how people react / what would happen.  I wonder what it would be like to do a reality series on flights – especially the 24+ hour ones.  One could document the interactions between flight attendants because you KNOW they all don’t always get along, the interactions between attendants and passengers, and what the hell the pilots do the whole time that they are in the cockpit.  You know they just put it on Auto-Pilot, so what DO they DO for those 7-8 hours besides overshoot their destinations by 150 miles???

Hey, I’m just keeping it real from 35,000 ft in the air :)

Dooooooominoes

So my line of work entails playing with dominoes from time to time.   As I was building my circle I started thinking about how dominoes are totally awesome and people should do them more often.  But more so, as dominoes have been on my brain recently because I also saw some clips of a huge dominoes tournament on TV the other day – which was super BA and amazing to watch, how you can learn valuable lessons from dominoes.

Ok in this ever so embarrassing fault at least I know that I’m not the only one.  I just have to put it out there and hope no one will judge me too harshly. But I admit that it takes me multiple times before I successfully have all the dominoes and place and ready to begin.  Along the way it is usually inevitable that my hand brushes a piece and then its over. The other day when I was trying to make my circle, I must have knocked it over at least 7 or 8 times and it was always conveniently towards the end. yes i admit that there is something wrong w/ a 24 yr old ineptness at placing small wooden blocks in a straight line centimeters apart. ugh.

But I couldn’t stop. I had this irrational desire to get it right no matter how many times i knocked it over. It was about persistence, perfection, and patience. All of which I clearly suck at doing.  After my dexterity and spatial functioning hit a level inferior to that of a 3 yr old, I finally had my rainbow-colored strip of entertainment in place.

Et voila! They all came tumbling d….o….w….n….

2009 Release

So I find it fitting that the release of a wine happens to fall on my birthday :) It’s a sign that Bacchus is indeed my friend and favorite deity. 

This year’s harvest of Nouveau Beaujolais became available to the public on November 19th.  What could be a better way to celebrate a birthday than with bottle in hand?

I did indeed imbibe a glass of Nouveau Beaujolais 2009 and must say that it was surprisingly tasty.  I’m not a huge Beaujolais fan but I think the temperature was just right and the freshness of the wine added to the deliciousness. 

Here is an article I found with a little bit of information on this sacred day in Paris.  Cafes, restaurants, supermarkets all had banners and signs up proclaiming the arrival of the NB. However, there is a behind-the-scenes race to be the absolute first to obtain the wine and try it out…Some wine shops in the States got their NB the first of the week…so yes, my friends, corruption exists even in the land of drunks where people are supposed to be too intoxicated to A. care or B. able to do anything about it….

It is interesting though to witness how wine takes on the personality more of high-end retail than just a simple fermented beverage; it’s like the new ‘must-have’ item. Imagine a black market for freshly bottled spring water.

Hardy Har Har

Cartoon I came across :)

American-style French

Poster

Sometimes I get the blues for the likes of such :)

 

 

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind…

Cadbury

I love Cadbury’s insane versatility and originality in their commercials for chocolate…Most people know the Eyebrow Dance which brews an instant smile…but these two new ones couldn’t be any more polarized and it’s awesome…

Classical to afro-beat. so dope.

Dogs + Racetrack

Zingolo

Envahir

Today marks the last day of my autonomy.  My room has been officially and totally invaded.

Earlier I found the rascals in my room uninvited stirring up trouble, of course.  I wish I could make it explicitly clear that the only 2 things I ask of them is not to go in my room when I’m not with them and to not touch my computer. C’est tout.

On one hand though I guess it means they have reached an amicable level of comfort with me.  I’m probably like their older sister and therefore someone to play with…Yay, sauf these certain instances.

And also, quand j’ai cherché des vêtements to change into for the night I spy Mao, le chat, sleeping on one of my sweatshirts that is sitting on my shelf. Normally I would be all for it – I think he also slept with me one night which was fine too, until I realized that he plays outside and digs in the dirt and does who knows what else that is now crawling and creeping around on my sweatshirt.  I’m sure any non-OCD person wouldn’t think twice about this but it kind of gives me the heebie-jeebies and now all i want to do is throw all my clothes in the washer. uuugh.

So clearly come on over! – my room is public access to all species…

Hmmm, maybe ill leave a gun lying around and see who blows their brains out first – me, the kids, or the cat…my bet is on the cat’s fleas :)

Les Vacances

No school + Restless kids = Hell on Earth

Considering my expectations for the week, it actually went very well. 

Tuesday = 2nd level of the Eiffel Tower

By the end of the day 9:30-2:00pm the kids happily, ha, took a nap…so I got a nice 2.5 hour break…

Wednesday = stealthily avoided the day’s adventure

Not intentionally…I never got an official time of departure, and as we all know if I don’t have something specific to wake up for, greed sets in and I hoard my hours of doze.  So I missed the boat for visiting Montparnasse Tower – a large building that you can go to the top of for a view much like the Eiffel Tower…My absence allowed me to go get some much needed black boots so I can’t complain…

Thursday = BATOBUS + Jardin des Plantes

The Batobus is a tourist boat ride on the Seine that makes stops at ‘famous’ places so all the tourists can gape and gawk…

We got off at Jardin des Plantes which is a fairly large park with a small zoo, small museums, and botanical gardens.  I think as much time as we spent seeing things we spent an equal amount of time standing in line – which is not fun with 2 and 4 yr old energy magnets. 

First we had a ‘picnic’ which was more sitting on a bench eating a few slices of chicken slapped on the French version of white bread and a Go-gurt…it was a disgrace to the word picnic and I gravely apologize.

So then we go stand in line for the Paleontology Museum because they have a HUGE dinosaur skeleton inside – SO something the mom would take the kids to see – but to me it wasn’t worth the wait AT ALL! It was just one large banquet room lined with thousands of prehistoric animals and their collectives which was cool to see but apparently the dino room was closed and the tykes can’t appreciate a bunch of bones so it was a short-lived tour and we moved onto the zoo. 

By this time the kids were hitting the struggle to fight off their low batteries so we had a few ornery episodes while waiting in line for the zoo.

The zoo is the oldest in the world I think – it first contained all the animals at the menagerie in Versailles – it’s a pretty cool concept though – having a quieter, more intimate zoo located in the midst of Paris so one can escape the big city life for a few hours.  However, I had a bit of an internal qualm with this…I’m usually not affected by the animal rights scene but this zoo did make me wonder if this was the right thing.  Since it was small there wasn’t alot of roaming room for the animals which bothered me and it seemed slightly claustrophobic for them and also their living conditions didn’t seem ideal.  It wasn’t dirty per se, but their man-made habitats were slack-a-lacking…

They had a mini animal farm and kids were feeding the goats dried leaves off the ground…..I’m pr-etty sure goats don’t eat dead leaves…

After the zoo we made a stop at McDonald’s for a snack and then headed back on the boat to go home. Thank God this day was over! It was way too long for me lol - 9:30-5:30pm. All I wanted to do when I got home was crawl up in a ball in my room and disappear from the world.

Haha the funniest thing though was a bird shit on Amos’ head lol…he didn’t seem too bothered by it so I can laugh

Friday everyone laid low. Recuperation day (in more than one way right mom?) :)

 

Ad in FUSAC

“I am 50, journalist, married. Looking for lover. i prefer married women. Young girls who love older men w  e  l  c  o  m  e  .   stephane__coute2@……….”

 

Bold. I chuckle and applaud your audacity, my friend. Bold.

Yoga + 2 Islands and Me = Chillllin

Yesterday was open house / free session at this yoga center in the 10th arrondissement which I’m going to call a lesser nice neighborhood, although it was near this really pretty, old, Gothic church (L’Eglise Saint-Laurent).

Yoga in French is very interesting. Since it was a free trial class there were probably at least 35 people there which made the spacing rather tight.  For the first hour, a woman just talked to us about meditation, healthy eating, relaxing, and how all these things are essential for blah blah blah…

Then we started our class…With the combination of me having done yoga before, being able to look around and watch people, and knowing French I was able to do everything.  Although, it was not as relaxing as I wanted it to be since I had to simultaneously do three different things just to perform 1 position correctly.

BUT the best thing that came of it was I met 2 girls whom were really cool.  One is from England and the other the Cook Islands!! It took me awhile to remember where those were – northeast of New Zealand in between Fiji and Tahiti (French Polynesia).  These girls met because their boyfriends are friends and A— – the 24 Brit – has been here since June and K— – the 25 Cook Islander – has been here about as long as me…These girls are super chill and K— is a musician, as well as, both their boyfriends…

After yoga, we went to Chinatown to get some Asian food – A—speaks Chinese because she lived there for 3 years teaching English / working at a rock climbing / outdoor adventure place – I had never been to Chinatown and it was alright…the food was good, but I’m not sure I would take the trek all the way back there since it’s on the other side of Paris…

Then they invited me back to their apartments for some wine and hanging out – of course I obliged and I hung out with them for the rest of the night playing cards, drinking wine, and listening to some jams…It was a really fun, chill time – my style.

They are really funny, almost opposite girls – A— is a talk-a-holic, totally spits whatever she is thinking out of her mouth to anyone around who will listen…lol…she was talking about how it has been hard to make friends in Paris and she thinks its a lonely city and rah, rah, rah (as Cook Islanders say) and that this is the quietest she’s ever been in her life – holy shit I wouldn’t want to be around her anywhere else then lol – but she means well

K— is total island…surfer girl, doesn’t give a shit what other people think, kind of tom-boy, yet has strikingly attractive features, super chill and a lot quieter…i like her a lot and I think we’d get along really well…she also has the island hospitality mentality – very welcoming, inclusive, gives you the best of what she has even if it leaves her with nothing…cool, cool chick

Pretty sure the 3 of us will have some adventures around here if they both stay in town for awhile ;)

    

Crepe Catastrophe

**WARNING!: Graphic descriptions not suitable for those with weak stomachs, those who have just eaten, those who enjoy eating, and those who do not want their stomachs to turn à ce moment**

So Alma has a small ear infection..I’m not quite sure how it is affecting her (she seems pretty normal to me) and it was caught in the early stages so ce n’est pas grave – no fever, no abnormal crying, slightly lethargic - and the mom has been giving her antibiotics so it should go away in the next few days…

Now I’m am not sure why, so I’m going to blame it on her being ‘sick’ lol but today we had crepes for snack because I was craving them and I had just bought this new jam which is supposed to be super gourmet from this well-known store in Paris – Fauchon – and I wanted to try it out…I sampled it in the store and I decided to get the new flavor: Apricots, Plums, and Cinnamon….mmmm

We had just finished eating and Alma was finishing her last bites when she started with the gag reflex…now this isn’t a completely random thing because she has been known to over-stuff her mouth and end up spitting whatever is in there out into her hand which is always pleasing to play “Identify the Parts of Your Meal in Your Hand”…but this time she wasn’t exactly spitting it out but just doing the dry heave…I was getting worried that she might start choking so I’m standing there trying to remember how the F you give a child the Heimlich while also trying to figure out if I should take her into the bathroom or just let her keep standing there…

After about the fourth tease I grabbed a plate nearby and just held it in front of her because I knew she would eventually end up puking…and of course as soon as the plate was there giving the green light – BOTH crepes come creeping out onto the plate…yummm…what I thought was just going to be just a mouthful turned into a long train of chocolate, chunky dough, almost fully chewed bananas amidst a gummy web of saliva….and then of course it was back to playing with Amos.

I, however, was left wanting my crepes to join hers on the plate after that lovely gastronomical offering…I think if I had gotten anything more than a tinge of that ambrosial barf odor I would’ve lost it…

My new jam was excellent though :)

Replicating Nostalgia

I’ve found my own Wild Things!! These guys are in Le Jardin des Tuileries which is a long stretch of lawn in between the Louvre and Place de la Concorde (where Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette were executed) which marks the beginning of the Champs-Elysees. 

There are various pieces of artwork scattered throughout the walkway/garden including this exhibit surrounding one of the fountains.

These totem-like statues were made by Ugo Rondinone and each face represents a month of the year.  He wanted to show the month’s personalities in a surreal way like that of child’s dreams – Sp anyone?

I LOVE how these straddle between being somewhat creepy and disturbing , but at the same time touch that cute button in your nerves that triggers a smile…there is a hint of Tim Burton in Rondinone’s style…Of course my fav is November (Feb a close 2nd and Oct 3rd).

This is the best I can do until I get to see the real W.T. WHICH, WHICH I found out is being released here mid-Dec!!!! oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!  I will be first in line, understanding the film or not :)

Sunday Funday

Last Sunday I went back to the American Church in Paris because the mom wanted me to see if there were any postings about an American baseball team/league for Guillame. So I went to the 1:30 service which is the Contemporary one – Queen, I think you would’ve liked it. There was a lot of singing with contemporary music and a more laid back atmosphere with the preacher/pastor lady not in the pulpit but standing in the aisle in front of the pews…Apparently the 9:00am service is the most traditional offering communion once or twice a month, then the 11:00am is the mostly the same without the bread/wine and then the 1:30 draws the youngest and most relaxed crowd.  The sermons are all the same but the vibes are different.

I doubt I’ll ever make it to the 9:00am but I think I prefer the 11:00am service, although I did meet some people my age from this service so….

After every service there is a small reception and there I met these two sisters form Finland.  One was just visiting in Paris as well as the South of France where their family/parents live and the other just finished studying Art History here in Paris and is currently looking for a job.  They were both very nice, very blonde, and very tall lol.  And I’ve only met one other Finn besides these two girls, but I’ve decided that these are good people.  They are super nice and seem pretty laid back (Margs – they were from Helsinki, so I told them about Lauri – sp?). The girls said that even though Finland has a fairly small populace, their people are everywhere.  Mostly because they are so far north, they have non-stop days of light and in the other cold season, darkness.  So if I ever go to Finland – it will definitely be during the summer.  After talking to these girls awhile, I declined a lunch invitation and moved on to the ad posting board.

There I meet, Armando from San Jose.  Armando, of Mexican descent, is a short, skinny, dark-skinned kid that was looking for the American Library. I wanted to help and didn’t really have any pressing matters to attend to so I told him I would help him find it because there were more ads posted there and since I might as well see if I can make some extra moolah on the side I said why not.

Well we found the Library and it is closed on Sundays, eh whatever.

Armando is currently staying in a hostel – has been for about a month. He was previously living in Rome, working at a hostel and then decided to go ‘woofing’ for a couple months in the countryside. For those of you poor souls who are not in-the-know ;) “woof-ing” means working on an organic farm.  Basically you can go stay on an organic farm and in exchange for your physical labor, the owners provide you with room and board.  I think it would be a really cool experience.  So now Armando is in Paris, wants to find steady work, learn the language, and is also starting to run low on cash so he was looking for some odd-jobs to hold him over.

He told me he was going to meet this man who needed help translating some documents into English. He asked if I wanted to come along in case the translating was over his head. Hell yea I’ll come! I get to go to a part of the city I’ve never been, meet a real French person, and see how this whole operation works.

We meet Laurent. Laurent is a 35-yr old surgeon who just got back from doing field work in Africa.  He also spent 13 months being isolated in Antarctica with about 10 other people doing research.  Laurent is flying to Berlin to attend a global conference on the research he has been conducting in Africa.  It was really interesting to me because he was basically arguing the ethics of doctors using universal treatment for a mass population or if treatment/care should be given on an person-by-person basis.  Basically – does the individual matter?

So Armando and I helped Laurent go through his PowerPoint presentation and fix all his errors in English – the subject matter may have been slightly over Armando’s head, so I am glad that I was there. I thought it was really interesting.  Then at the end, Laurent paid Armando 50 Euros for helping him out, 20 of which Armando gave me! Yay! So all in all it was a good day…

Oh and also while we were at the cafe working, I ended up drinking TWO cafe noisettes, which is basically an espresso with a hint of cream…its strong stuff…but they were free and the 2nd one was more to make Laurent feel better about keeping us there for so long…But anyway when we were leaving I was saying goodbye to our waiter who was standing at the entrance and he said “Au revoir, Petite Noisette”…It took me a sec to figure out what he had said but when I did I laughed and had a huge smile on my face! :D…it was so cute!

SO STOKED!

This is a good article and I’m getting super super super anxious for the release!! :)

Hmmm…L’amour?

So I am not writing this in vain but here’s une petite histoire…

I was leaving the house, and as I opened the door I happened to glance upwards and make eye contact with this guy walking on the other side of the street. He smiled, so I smiled, and we both went on our merry ways.  Nothing weird or anything really but I did think afterwards that not a lot of people smile at you in this city when you see them, so that was nice of him.

So I am on my way to Guillame’s school to pick him up and take him to his afternoon drawing class.  I am also rolling up (literally) with a bag of laundry that the mom wanted me to take to the Laundromat which was next door to the art building. 

So I am almost to the school (which is about a 12 minute walk from the house) and I hear this somewhat faint yell. At first I did not pay attention like any other homebred city girl, but since I can only pretend to be true blood, my country roots and curiosity got the best of me and I turned around.  To my surprise I see the dude from when I left hastily approaching me while trying to hide the fact that he is also sucking wind. 

Now this man is older – clearly 35+ from his receding and thinning hairline – looks to have Persian/Middle-eastern heritage with the dark hair, dark eyes, darker skin…not too tall – around my height, maybe slightly taller…not intimidating in the least…and from the evidence of his gasps, somewhat husky - doesn’t do much physical activity. Not exactly my knight in shining armor.

So I turn around and see him hurrying towards me, I’m thinking ok what did I drop and how far ago did I drop it? But he isn’t carrying anything. Hmmm…no time for any other explanations I have to put my invisible interpretation headphones on because he has finally caught up to me. He catches his breath while I stare blankly. Then he starts rattling off as I watch his tongue speed through the tracks of his mouth at 100mph….Something about he is an artist/drawer…this is some of his work – in which he hands me this:

Ok. This is kind of strange but thanks? As I am picking up on about every 30th word that comes spinning out of this train wreck…He is giving me this to color in…because he wants me to have it…this is what i should use to color it in…like this…blah blah…

All I can think of while he’s speaking is: Why is he giving me this? How long has he been following me / did he go out of his way just to give me this? Is he trying to hit on me in a very unorthodox way?What kind of crappy artwork is this? I hope he is not expecting any money from me. Am I reallllly ever going to color this in? If I do, what would I do with it after that? I wish I knew what he was saying. Is this like some sort of project like they have in dive restaurants where the patron’s kids color in the picture and they make a huge collage on the wall by the door, only I should leave this outside the front door (since he obviously knows what building I live in) so he can add it to his collection of rape victims? Lol. :/

I have no idea what facial expression was on my face during this mostly one-sided convo, but I tried to remain interested and like I knew what he was saying. Finally when he stops, I am sure to thank him and wish him a good day and hope that he leaves.  He does and I am left wondering what the hell just happened.

So I am looking at the piece of paper, stumped, and then turn it over.

How nice. Paul 0620382118.

Creeper.

Next Job: Funeral Parlor

Ok so my ‘mom’ is a bit neurotic but in a kind, harmless, she-means-well way.  Today she told me that she used to work in a funeral parlor. Ok? She seems to have had many different occupations in her life because she has also worked in a library and on an archeological dig  – all of which are fitting and pretty cool. 

So I do not know how we started talking about funeral parlors, but anyway she said that about 5 years ago it was extremely hot in Paris. It was August and a lot of shops, families, businesses were closed because it is when people leave town for holidays – ok fine I can see that.  But then she throws this out – That summer a lot of people died. Um ok. What?? Doctor, Doctor…Neurosis? Clearly.

I questioned her statement of people just croaking from the heat. She said yes because a lot of old people were by themselves, no one was around to take care of them, places were closed, etc, etc. Ok whatever. So people were dying in mass quantities that summer.

Needless-to-say business was good for the funeral parlors. Sick yes, but true. :) She said she was working nights and days and people were coming by (avec ou sans the dead I’m not sure – I decided it be best not to go there in fears of ruining our afternoon cafe).

But then she said something very profound to me, which seems to be always the way with genius v. insanity – straddling the line leaning more towards the latter and then out of nowhere shit becomes way too clear.  We had been speaking earlier of work ethic because she just had a tiff with the phone repair shop man. So she said you have to work hard in a funeral home – there is no choice. At first, I was thinking why is that different from any other job – but then it all started to meld. There is not much time so you have to be prepared and speedy. But also you have to be conscious and attentive of the person’s family.  There is hardly any room for mistakes with an immense amount of unspoken pressure because basically you are indirectly hot-potatoing people’s emotions and pain as they go through humanity’s hardest pathos.

So of course you can go through half-assing preparing the dead but it seems as if there are far worse consequences in this particular setting. So she said for all the people out there who are lazy and don’t work hard, would they treat their job the same if they were in a funeral home working on someone whom they knew. Well damn. That’s a new way of looking at things.

Moral of the Story: Whatever you are doing, whatever your career/work/activity/energy you are putting forth – Act like you are in charge of burying someone you love and then think about if you are working as hard in your current situation as you would be in that situation. Probably not, but if you are, at least the dead will be smiling upon you…

Chevy Chase

So i had this flashback tonight while I was sitting at the dinner table by myself – of course everyone else was done and had moved on to other things, yet i was still munching on some grapes –

The image from one of my favorite movie series (Emma, you will appreciate this): National Lampoon’s European Vacation.  While the family is on the airplane they each dream about different things – the Griswold daughter, Audrey, starts dreaming about being the soul member of a Louis XIV-style feast in which she can’t handle. The food keeps coming and coming and she doesn’t have time to eat it all – just watch it for yourself……..Audrey's Dream 

So needless to say as I was sitting there gorged, yet still masticating some grapes with GD pepins my thoughts migrate to this image and how I felt like I had just blown up eating sickening delicious French gastronomy – included on the menu was: Potatoes, Rack of Lamb, Bread, and a Fruit Tray of grapes, clementines, and a new fruit, Kaki (which I found out is a persimmon – I’ve heard of it but never eaten it)

What an AWESOME movie.

“McDo”

I found this article fitting since I ate at Mickey D’s today for lunch with the fam…That makes twice in the past week (even though the first time I just had some fries) and I hardly ever eat fast food anymore. 

Here ye! Here ye! I will only give myself 15 times at McDo my whole time here and that includes drunk food…

Anyway, so the big news for the fickle French is McDonald’s is building a restaurant in the underground “mall”, if you will, of the Louvre.  Oh la, la…Quel désastre!

Haha now I am slightly torn between being a flag-waver and wanting to adopt the French way of being outraged yet passive…but it is comical that people are aghast because they now think that Mona Lisa will wear the perfume of a deep-fryer AND that if Ronald walks through the doors it will inevitably lead to the entire degradation of the museum’s artistic, cultural, and historical preservation ambiance….Um what?

It is interesting though that the stats indicate the French consume the most McD’s out of Europeans – to which I can attest since about 1/3 of the population was in line with us at lunch today vying for that succulent Big Mac or for the herbivores out there salad and bag of fruit?…

2 more things real quick: they did have computers inside where you could pre-order (kind of like Sheetz TGO) and then go pay/get your food so you could somewhat avoid the lines – which seems like a cool system to have AND you can either get their normal fries or they sell seasoned potato wedges that are pretty tasty – I think my 3rd visit will be to check out the McFlurry flavs because I remember Ireland had siiiiick choices for those :)

Things I learned Saturday Night

Germans call cell phones – “Handy’s” and they think that it is common knowledge in other countries that people know to what they are referring

Germans think that Americans have no substance behind them…they are all surface-level airheads – a lot of other Europe countries probably agree

Desperados – a beer with tequila mixed in it = disgusting, don’t buy or drink

No matter how nice you are trying to be – don’t let anyone borrow your cell phone…even if a guy is asking you so he can call a taxi for his drunk ‘friend’ who cannot stand up – because they will inevitably walk off with it and leave you feeling very stupid

Celebrate the small victories while you can because you never know how long they will last (ref to: finally getting my cell phone activated and working only to have it stolen 10 hours later)

Germans have one year after high school as a mandatory military service year and then they can go to college. So if you ever meet a German who is in your grade but 1-2 yrs older than you, don’t judge, that is why.

Late night McDonald’s is just as delicious in Paris as it is in the States.

British accents are quite comforting.

I miss Irish accents.

Randoms

I had my first Starbucks the other day…pretty good in comparison…its about twice as expensive though sooooo wont be making many trips there.

I am going through the freshman 15 again because I eat incessantly everyday – loaves of bread, butter cookies, chocolate biscuits, little almond-flavored sweets, ice cream – pretty much any junk food the kids are also eating at the time. And OMG these things called Speculoos – I CANNOT figure out what the equivalent is in English but the family has tried to tell me that it’s like a caramel cookie but they also have a jar of it that looks like peanut butter…so I don’t know exactly what is it but I am IN LOVE with it!! Dare I say that I like it more than Nutella…definitely bringing back multiple jars/cases/packages of this edible ecstasy.

I experience vertigo every time I go to the bathroom – there are no windows and barely enough room to shut the door

My window would have been perfect for Hitchcock – i have to admit that I love getting a glimpse of the neighbor’s lives…especially the cute guy right across the way that  I will someday say hi to from my room…

Je deteste les pepins! So apparently you cant find seedless grapes around here…I have come to loathe eating grapes for this reason – The seeds ruin the whole experience and it becomes very cumbersome to spit out 4 tiny kernels per grape – I got duped the other day when the mom bought what was said to be seedless grapes; however, they clearly had seeds as I discovered….I will be on the endless search for grapes sans les pepins!

I have never seen anyone iron underwear before…WOW…This is like double shock for me because I NEVER iron anything :/

Alien, Peut-etre?

Can someone please show me where I missed the memo that getting up before the sun was imperative for living in France??

Today I went to take a placement exam to determine my French level…yessssssssss…basically I had to write a short essay and then a longer one…easy.

I talked to the admin people at the school but did not register because in abt 60 days I will be ‘illegal’…eeek…hmm this sounds like a wonderful time to make my next sightseeing trip to the US Embassy….hopefully they will throw this pauvre Parisian bitch a bone

MP + Google

Happy 11th Birthday Googs!

Newest post on Monterey Purple is up!

Rankin

I’m sure I am way out of the high-fashion/photography loop, but i just found my new FAV photographer – Rankin. He’s known around the world as a leading photographer.  He has a very intimate style which I am definitely drawn into with his work. 

Go check out his website now! :)

Le Metro

I love taking the Metro…It’s like my daily dose of P.W.A (People Watchers Anonymous) Usual participants aside from the well-known walk-on-violinists and the I’m-poor-give-me-money-speech persons include:

The one lady that you watch get on and all that is running through your head is oh please, oh please, oh please don’t sit next to me…when inevitably she does…I like to call this woman “The Fidgetor”: You know something doesn’t look right upon first glance - older, slightly unkempt-looking, could almost pass for homeless but you know isn't because of the minimal amount of shit she is carrying…So she sits down and then your whole metro ride you are on edge because every 5 secs she’s moving around, fidgeting with her hands, changing positions in the seat, digging around in her purse – you offer an inquisitive, ‘do-you-need-some-help’ glance in case something is actually wrong and suddenly she freezes and looks your way frantically like someone has just cracked the code on her mental safe…so you quickly look away never really understanding at what the hell she’s doing while next to you which leaves you with an uneasy feeling of discomfort and sometimes paranoia depending on how many ‘cafes’ – aka extra strong espressos – you have had that day

Then there is always “The Creeper” who gets on the metro at the last second and hovers right by the door…so logically you would think that his stop is next and he just wants to make sure he is first off..but no…the next isn’t his stop, nor the one after that, but he still has his nose on the door window, clutching the handle, with just the slightest sway of nonexistent urgency anyway…

If it’s a good day, you will also run into “The PDA Couple”…who, being French of course, find it decently acceptable to flaunt their tongue strength and lack of spatial awareness between each other right in front of you…now PDAing isn’t really my thing and I understand that for some it is…but is it really necessary to pick one of the MOST public places to be an exhibitionist…its not enough to show us all while we’re waiting for the arrival, but once inside the stuffy, cramped, unpleasantly-odored sardine box, you have to continue to act like ya’ll haven’t seen each other since the war began…

Then there is “The Music Lover” – of which I have probably been guilty of being at some point – the one person in the car whose music you can hear even though they are wearing headphones and you are at least 3 seats away from them. Said person is completely oblivious to the stares from others who don’t really care but just want the person to know that their music could be annoying them so clearly they should turn it down…I’ve heard some good stuff so far though

Lastly, you occasionally get “The Other People-Watching Addict” on board in which case ya’lls eyes meet about 5 times per 10 stops which if you’re there for the long haul can get kind of awkward…Both of you, consciously aware of each other, engaging in constant eye-darting from stranger to stranger when you inevitably happen to target, lock, and sink battleship with one another...following is the split-second of recognition, then guilt of being exposed of voyeurism, and by the time the moment passes your eyes are already fixated on the next subject and you have recuperated until the next collision

It is also fun to see what everyone is reading too…I definitely need to brush up on my French literature, but for the most part it has been interesting to see what people bring…I have added Catch-22 to mix

We Salute You, Hailing from America

Who knew corn-on-the—cob could be so magical? I showed the mom how to cook corn in the microwave today (yes, poor form to the cooking gods but easy and fast)…it is basically the same as boiling them in a pot on the stove...

Apparently the kids thought this was the coolest thing EVER! I walk on water to them because I hold the key to all things mystical and American…They were like cats to catnip being induced into a psychosis of pure ecstasy

I made some banana bread the other day also because there were 2 rotting bananas lying around. It was gone in one day.  Guillame is obsessed with French toast because his family in LA made it for him when he went to visit for 2 weeks, so now he thinks that any American food is automatically better…oh if only he knew…and Amos is just entranced with America so of course anything that will get him closer to citizenship (and believe me corn will do just that) he pounces on immediately.

Can’t wait to introduce PB&J to them because that will be the apocalyptic end all be all of food’s Garden of Eden

 

Side note: To make the banana bread I had was limited to which recipe I could use because 1. The family doesn’t have an oven – all they really have is a decent-sized toaster oven from which they somehow produce delicious beef and chicken dishes – I am convinced that there is a herd of petit chefs beneath the oven that steal the food when no one is looking, carry it down to their master 5-star kitchen, and cook everything to perfection before cranking it back up into our kitchen…2. The other prohibiting factor was apparently France does not have brown sugar? I had to run to the grocery to get some vegetable oil (because the family didn’t have any which I feel like is an American staple) and while I was there I looked for brown sugar – couldn't find it – sour cream – couldn't find it – and baking powder – couldn't find it…so i had to make a few adjustments to my banana bread. I also had NO idea how to time the toaster oven thing to make it comparable with 350F so i was also worried about that…BUT I must say that it turned out exceptionally tasty….those petit chefs came through once again…perfectly golden brown – perfect consistency – not too dry, not too moist…it was simply, well, magical.…Take that Julia C.

Bicycle, Bicycle, Bicycle…I Want to Ride My Bicycle

Today I went on a bike ride throughout the city…I just started riding with the hope of finding Montmartre even though I knew it was pretty far away.  My exploration lasted about 1.5 hours and sadly I did not make it to my destination.

+ side: I successfully avoided getting hit, honked at and/or hitting anyone! Yay!

AND some couple stopped me and asked me in French! if this street was the right one to get to Le Sacre-Coeur…I had no idea but I said yes anyway. I knew it was in that general direction…that counts right? I’m sure they got there……..finalement.  I’m just glad I looked French enough to ask AND that I understood the question.  I love passing by all the tourists and pretending I’m a native :)

- side: I have a feeling mon derriere is going to be very sore tomorrow :(

History Time

So the mom told me about L’eglise americaine. I was skeptical at first but decided to try it out today.  Yes, I went to church…one of their services fit into my schedule of 11am and even though I was about 15 minutes late, I got some God in me.  The 2 best things though were – 1. every Sunday they have coffee hour after the service – niiiice and 2. I took a tour of the Church afterwards and learned about it’s history.

The church is international and non-denominational, but has Protestant roots.  It was founded by Americans, hence the name, in 1814 and was the 1st church to be built overseas.  The church was originally built near the Champs-Elysees, but they sold it to the Herald Tribune in the 1920s for a lot of money because they needed to expand. 

The church is 15th century Gothic architecture with many stained glass windows, 2 of which are originals made by Louis Tiffany – a famous glassmaker at the turn of the century.  The organ was crafted by the Beckerath factory in Germany and has more than 3,000 pipes.  This organ is only 22 years old, but the original organ is on display to the left of the alter. 

An interesting story: Apparently during the German occupation many Americans fled Paris; however, the musical director stayed and kept the services going.  So the Germans came after him and he took refuge in the organ.  There doesn’t look like there was any possible way for a person to fit in the organs from looking straight at it. But the director was safe, then fled to the South of France, but later returned.

The 2 Tiffany windows are really cool.  They were different from standard ones because Tiffany used non-traditional colors, multi-textural (is that a word?), superimposed glass with the faces, hands, and feet hand-painted in various thickness.

These windows are classified as national monuments by the French government and they are the only Tiffany windows outside the US.  Right now, there is a Tiffany exhibition going on at the Musee du Luxembourg which would be cool to check out.

Cool Fact: So there are about 10 steel bars going across the windows which I thought were just structural…Well to some extent they are, but I learned that over time glass starts to seep and so with the windows hanging vertically for 100+ years, the top ends up being thinner while the bottom collects thickness…so they put the bars in place to prevent the glass from oozing…

The other windows are normal, but the interesting thing is that they were designed in the US, imported the glass from the UK, and assembled in France – this reminds me of a book I read by Sarah Murray, Moveable Feasts, which explains the globalization of certain foods and the extraordinary distances they travel before reaching our groceries.

Now the good stuff! There were originally catacombs built to be used to keep the dead, obviously…well they never got used for that.  So in the 60s, when the whole boho vibe was happening, the catacombs turned into a coffeehouse (I wish so badly to have witnessed that) where they offered live music – with one of the artists playing guitar being Robert Zimmerman a.k.a BOB DYLAN…..aweeeesome.  The catacombs are now used as the youth groups meeting area.

And my other favorite tidbit of history which has nothing to do with religion entails the 3 previous uses of the land on which the Church was erected:

1. The last thing before the Church was a trashy carnival.  Apparently it was crappy and unsafe, so the city was happy that ACP was taking over.

2. The church is built on an old tobacco warehouse foundation.  The warehouse was owned by a man named Jean Nicot de Villemain who brought over tobacco from Portugal to use it for medicinal purposes, especially thwarting migraines. The word nicotine comes from this dude’s name….cooool

3. There used to also be a Protestant cemetery at some point where the Church is – actually the church used to be on a little island.  And apparently during the St. Bartholomew’s Day Massacre (you know from 10th grade AP European history – worst class of my life – when Catherine de Medici, a Catholic, secretly ordered her men to go in the night and slaughter all the Protestants during the Reformation) all the bodies were dumped into the Seine and floated downstream stopping right at the tip of the island where the Church is now.

Wellll that's all the extremely fascinating and completely non-dull information for today.  I thought it was interesting but that’s also because I have a secret affinity for history and almost wish I had double majored in History & Art History….maybe in another life I say to Bruce the Buddha :)

Mon Quartier

So these are a few pictures from my neighborhood.  It located in the 15th arrondissement – these are Paris’ different areas…there are 20 of them – which is mostly residential.  It is a nice mix of middle-upper class families.

View from the front door

My metro stop – Charles Michels

A few blocks away from my house

Up close

La Seine

The mini Statue of Liberty

Radio France – apparently this building is famous because it it totally circular – but it houses alot of France’s telecommunications and media