Le Metro

I love taking the Metro…It’s like my daily dose of P.W.A (People Watchers Anonymous) Usual participants aside from the well-known walk-on-violinists and the I’m-poor-give-me-money-speech persons include:

The one lady that you watch get on and all that is running through your head is oh please, oh please, oh please don’t sit next to me…when inevitably she does…I like to call this woman “The Fidgetor”: You know something doesn’t look right upon first glance - older, slightly unkempt-looking, could almost pass for homeless but you know isn't because of the minimal amount of shit she is carrying…So she sits down and then your whole metro ride you are on edge because every 5 secs she’s moving around, fidgeting with her hands, changing positions in the seat, digging around in her purse – you offer an inquisitive, ‘do-you-need-some-help’ glance in case something is actually wrong and suddenly she freezes and looks your way frantically like someone has just cracked the code on her mental safe…so you quickly look away never really understanding at what the hell she’s doing while next to you which leaves you with an uneasy feeling of discomfort and sometimes paranoia depending on how many ‘cafes’ – aka extra strong espressos – you have had that day

Then there is always “The Creeper” who gets on the metro at the last second and hovers right by the door…so logically you would think that his stop is next and he just wants to make sure he is first off..but no…the next isn’t his stop, nor the one after that, but he still has his nose on the door window, clutching the handle, with just the slightest sway of nonexistent urgency anyway…

If it’s a good day, you will also run into “The PDA Couple”…who, being French of course, find it decently acceptable to flaunt their tongue strength and lack of spatial awareness between each other right in front of you…now PDAing isn’t really my thing and I understand that for some it is…but is it really necessary to pick one of the MOST public places to be an exhibitionist…its not enough to show us all while we’re waiting for the arrival, but once inside the stuffy, cramped, unpleasantly-odored sardine box, you have to continue to act like ya’ll haven’t seen each other since the war began…

Then there is “The Music Lover” – of which I have probably been guilty of being at some point – the one person in the car whose music you can hear even though they are wearing headphones and you are at least 3 seats away from them. Said person is completely oblivious to the stares from others who don’t really care but just want the person to know that their music could be annoying them so clearly they should turn it down…I’ve heard some good stuff so far though

Lastly, you occasionally get “The Other People-Watching Addict” on board in which case ya’lls eyes meet about 5 times per 10 stops which if you’re there for the long haul can get kind of awkward…Both of you, consciously aware of each other, engaging in constant eye-darting from stranger to stranger when you inevitably happen to target, lock, and sink battleship with one another...following is the split-second of recognition, then guilt of being exposed of voyeurism, and by the time the moment passes your eyes are already fixated on the next subject and you have recuperated until the next collision

It is also fun to see what everyone is reading too…I definitely need to brush up on my French literature, but for the most part it has been interesting to see what people bring…I have added Catch-22 to mix