Hardy Har Har

Cartoon I came across :)

American-style French

Poster

Sometimes I get the blues for the likes of such :)

 

 

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind…

Cadbury

I love Cadbury’s insane versatility and originality in their commercials for chocolate…Most people know the Eyebrow Dance which brews an instant smile…but these two new ones couldn’t be any more polarized and it’s awesome…

Classical to afro-beat. so dope.

Dogs + Racetrack

Zingolo

Envahir

Today marks the last day of my autonomy.  My room has been officially and totally invaded.

Earlier I found the rascals in my room uninvited stirring up trouble, of course.  I wish I could make it explicitly clear that the only 2 things I ask of them is not to go in my room when I’m not with them and to not touch my computer. C’est tout.

On one hand though I guess it means they have reached an amicable level of comfort with me.  I’m probably like their older sister and therefore someone to play with…Yay, sauf these certain instances.

And also, quand j’ai cherché des vêtements to change into for the night I spy Mao, le chat, sleeping on one of my sweatshirts that is sitting on my shelf. Normally I would be all for it – I think he also slept with me one night which was fine too, until I realized that he plays outside and digs in the dirt and does who knows what else that is now crawling and creeping around on my sweatshirt.  I’m sure any non-OCD person wouldn’t think twice about this but it kind of gives me the heebie-jeebies and now all i want to do is throw all my clothes in the washer. uuugh.

So clearly come on over! – my room is public access to all species…

Hmmm, maybe ill leave a gun lying around and see who blows their brains out first – me, the kids, or the cat…my bet is on the cat’s fleas :)

Les Vacances

No school + Restless kids = Hell on Earth

Considering my expectations for the week, it actually went very well. 

Tuesday = 2nd level of the Eiffel Tower

By the end of the day 9:30-2:00pm the kids happily, ha, took a nap…so I got a nice 2.5 hour break…

Wednesday = stealthily avoided the day’s adventure

Not intentionally…I never got an official time of departure, and as we all know if I don’t have something specific to wake up for, greed sets in and I hoard my hours of doze.  So I missed the boat for visiting Montparnasse Tower – a large building that you can go to the top of for a view much like the Eiffel Tower…My absence allowed me to go get some much needed black boots so I can’t complain…

Thursday = BATOBUS + Jardin des Plantes

The Batobus is a tourist boat ride on the Seine that makes stops at ‘famous’ places so all the tourists can gape and gawk…

We got off at Jardin des Plantes which is a fairly large park with a small zoo, small museums, and botanical gardens.  I think as much time as we spent seeing things we spent an equal amount of time standing in line – which is not fun with 2 and 4 yr old energy magnets. 

First we had a ‘picnic’ which was more sitting on a bench eating a few slices of chicken slapped on the French version of white bread and a Go-gurt…it was a disgrace to the word picnic and I gravely apologize.

So then we go stand in line for the Paleontology Museum because they have a HUGE dinosaur skeleton inside – SO something the mom would take the kids to see – but to me it wasn’t worth the wait AT ALL! It was just one large banquet room lined with thousands of prehistoric animals and their collectives which was cool to see but apparently the dino room was closed and the tykes can’t appreciate a bunch of bones so it was a short-lived tour and we moved onto the zoo. 

By this time the kids were hitting the struggle to fight off their low batteries so we had a few ornery episodes while waiting in line for the zoo.

The zoo is the oldest in the world I think – it first contained all the animals at the menagerie in Versailles – it’s a pretty cool concept though – having a quieter, more intimate zoo located in the midst of Paris so one can escape the big city life for a few hours.  However, I had a bit of an internal qualm with this…I’m usually not affected by the animal rights scene but this zoo did make me wonder if this was the right thing.  Since it was small there wasn’t alot of roaming room for the animals which bothered me and it seemed slightly claustrophobic for them and also their living conditions didn’t seem ideal.  It wasn’t dirty per se, but their man-made habitats were slack-a-lacking…

They had a mini animal farm and kids were feeding the goats dried leaves off the ground…..I’m pr-etty sure goats don’t eat dead leaves…

After the zoo we made a stop at McDonald’s for a snack and then headed back on the boat to go home. Thank God this day was over! It was way too long for me lol - 9:30-5:30pm. All I wanted to do when I got home was crawl up in a ball in my room and disappear from the world.

Haha the funniest thing though was a bird shit on Amos’ head lol…he didn’t seem too bothered by it so I can laugh

Friday everyone laid low. Recuperation day (in more than one way right mom?) :)

 

Ad in FUSAC

“I am 50, journalist, married. Looking for lover. i prefer married women. Young girls who love older men w  e  l  c  o  m  e  .   stephane__coute2@……….”

 

Bold. I chuckle and applaud your audacity, my friend. Bold.

Yoga + 2 Islands and Me = Chillllin

Yesterday was open house / free session at this yoga center in the 10th arrondissement which I’m going to call a lesser nice neighborhood, although it was near this really pretty, old, Gothic church (L’Eglise Saint-Laurent).

Yoga in French is very interesting. Since it was a free trial class there were probably at least 35 people there which made the spacing rather tight.  For the first hour, a woman just talked to us about meditation, healthy eating, relaxing, and how all these things are essential for blah blah blah…

Then we started our class…With the combination of me having done yoga before, being able to look around and watch people, and knowing French I was able to do everything.  Although, it was not as relaxing as I wanted it to be since I had to simultaneously do three different things just to perform 1 position correctly.

BUT the best thing that came of it was I met 2 girls whom were really cool.  One is from England and the other the Cook Islands!! It took me awhile to remember where those were – northeast of New Zealand in between Fiji and Tahiti (French Polynesia).  These girls met because their boyfriends are friends and A— – the 24 Brit – has been here since June and K— – the 25 Cook Islander – has been here about as long as me…These girls are super chill and K— is a musician, as well as, both their boyfriends…

After yoga, we went to Chinatown to get some Asian food – A—speaks Chinese because she lived there for 3 years teaching English / working at a rock climbing / outdoor adventure place – I had never been to Chinatown and it was alright…the food was good, but I’m not sure I would take the trek all the way back there since it’s on the other side of Paris…

Then they invited me back to their apartments for some wine and hanging out – of course I obliged and I hung out with them for the rest of the night playing cards, drinking wine, and listening to some jams…It was a really fun, chill time – my style.

They are really funny, almost opposite girls – A— is a talk-a-holic, totally spits whatever she is thinking out of her mouth to anyone around who will listen…lol…she was talking about how it has been hard to make friends in Paris and she thinks its a lonely city and rah, rah, rah (as Cook Islanders say) and that this is the quietest she’s ever been in her life – holy shit I wouldn’t want to be around her anywhere else then lol – but she means well

K— is total island…surfer girl, doesn’t give a shit what other people think, kind of tom-boy, yet has strikingly attractive features, super chill and a lot quieter…i like her a lot and I think we’d get along really well…she also has the island hospitality mentality – very welcoming, inclusive, gives you the best of what she has even if it leaves her with nothing…cool, cool chick

Pretty sure the 3 of us will have some adventures around here if they both stay in town for awhile ;)

    

Crepe Catastrophe

**WARNING!: Graphic descriptions not suitable for those with weak stomachs, those who have just eaten, those who enjoy eating, and those who do not want their stomachs to turn à ce moment**

So Alma has a small ear infection..I’m not quite sure how it is affecting her (she seems pretty normal to me) and it was caught in the early stages so ce n’est pas grave – no fever, no abnormal crying, slightly lethargic - and the mom has been giving her antibiotics so it should go away in the next few days…

Now I’m am not sure why, so I’m going to blame it on her being ‘sick’ lol but today we had crepes for snack because I was craving them and I had just bought this new jam which is supposed to be super gourmet from this well-known store in Paris – Fauchon – and I wanted to try it out…I sampled it in the store and I decided to get the new flavor: Apricots, Plums, and Cinnamon….mmmm

We had just finished eating and Alma was finishing her last bites when she started with the gag reflex…now this isn’t a completely random thing because she has been known to over-stuff her mouth and end up spitting whatever is in there out into her hand which is always pleasing to play “Identify the Parts of Your Meal in Your Hand”…but this time she wasn’t exactly spitting it out but just doing the dry heave…I was getting worried that she might start choking so I’m standing there trying to remember how the F you give a child the Heimlich while also trying to figure out if I should take her into the bathroom or just let her keep standing there…

After about the fourth tease I grabbed a plate nearby and just held it in front of her because I knew she would eventually end up puking…and of course as soon as the plate was there giving the green light – BOTH crepes come creeping out onto the plate…yummm…what I thought was just going to be just a mouthful turned into a long train of chocolate, chunky dough, almost fully chewed bananas amidst a gummy web of saliva….and then of course it was back to playing with Amos.

I, however, was left wanting my crepes to join hers on the plate after that lovely gastronomical offering…I think if I had gotten anything more than a tinge of that ambrosial barf odor I would’ve lost it…

My new jam was excellent though :)

Replicating Nostalgia

I’ve found my own Wild Things!! These guys are in Le Jardin des Tuileries which is a long stretch of lawn in between the Louvre and Place de la Concorde (where Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette were executed) which marks the beginning of the Champs-Elysees. 

There are various pieces of artwork scattered throughout the walkway/garden including this exhibit surrounding one of the fountains.

These totem-like statues were made by Ugo Rondinone and each face represents a month of the year.  He wanted to show the month’s personalities in a surreal way like that of child’s dreams – Sp anyone?

I LOVE how these straddle between being somewhat creepy and disturbing , but at the same time touch that cute button in your nerves that triggers a smile…there is a hint of Tim Burton in Rondinone’s style…Of course my fav is November (Feb a close 2nd and Oct 3rd).

This is the best I can do until I get to see the real W.T. WHICH, WHICH I found out is being released here mid-Dec!!!! oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!  I will be first in line, understanding the film or not :)

Sunday Funday

Last Sunday I went back to the American Church in Paris because the mom wanted me to see if there were any postings about an American baseball team/league for Guillame. So I went to the 1:30 service which is the Contemporary one – Queen, I think you would’ve liked it. There was a lot of singing with contemporary music and a more laid back atmosphere with the preacher/pastor lady not in the pulpit but standing in the aisle in front of the pews…Apparently the 9:00am service is the most traditional offering communion once or twice a month, then the 11:00am is the mostly the same without the bread/wine and then the 1:30 draws the youngest and most relaxed crowd.  The sermons are all the same but the vibes are different.

I doubt I’ll ever make it to the 9:00am but I think I prefer the 11:00am service, although I did meet some people my age from this service so….

After every service there is a small reception and there I met these two sisters form Finland.  One was just visiting in Paris as well as the South of France where their family/parents live and the other just finished studying Art History here in Paris and is currently looking for a job.  They were both very nice, very blonde, and very tall lol.  And I’ve only met one other Finn besides these two girls, but I’ve decided that these are good people.  They are super nice and seem pretty laid back (Margs – they were from Helsinki, so I told them about Lauri – sp?). The girls said that even though Finland has a fairly small populace, their people are everywhere.  Mostly because they are so far north, they have non-stop days of light and in the other cold season, darkness.  So if I ever go to Finland – it will definitely be during the summer.  After talking to these girls awhile, I declined a lunch invitation and moved on to the ad posting board.

There I meet, Armando from San Jose.  Armando, of Mexican descent, is a short, skinny, dark-skinned kid that was looking for the American Library. I wanted to help and didn’t really have any pressing matters to attend to so I told him I would help him find it because there were more ads posted there and since I might as well see if I can make some extra moolah on the side I said why not.

Well we found the Library and it is closed on Sundays, eh whatever.

Armando is currently staying in a hostel – has been for about a month. He was previously living in Rome, working at a hostel and then decided to go ‘woofing’ for a couple months in the countryside. For those of you poor souls who are not in-the-know ;) “woof-ing” means working on an organic farm.  Basically you can go stay on an organic farm and in exchange for your physical labor, the owners provide you with room and board.  I think it would be a really cool experience.  So now Armando is in Paris, wants to find steady work, learn the language, and is also starting to run low on cash so he was looking for some odd-jobs to hold him over.

He told me he was going to meet this man who needed help translating some documents into English. He asked if I wanted to come along in case the translating was over his head. Hell yea I’ll come! I get to go to a part of the city I’ve never been, meet a real French person, and see how this whole operation works.

We meet Laurent. Laurent is a 35-yr old surgeon who just got back from doing field work in Africa.  He also spent 13 months being isolated in Antarctica with about 10 other people doing research.  Laurent is flying to Berlin to attend a global conference on the research he has been conducting in Africa.  It was really interesting to me because he was basically arguing the ethics of doctors using universal treatment for a mass population or if treatment/care should be given on an person-by-person basis.  Basically – does the individual matter?

So Armando and I helped Laurent go through his PowerPoint presentation and fix all his errors in English – the subject matter may have been slightly over Armando’s head, so I am glad that I was there. I thought it was really interesting.  Then at the end, Laurent paid Armando 50 Euros for helping him out, 20 of which Armando gave me! Yay! So all in all it was a good day…

Oh and also while we were at the cafe working, I ended up drinking TWO cafe noisettes, which is basically an espresso with a hint of cream…its strong stuff…but they were free and the 2nd one was more to make Laurent feel better about keeping us there for so long…But anyway when we were leaving I was saying goodbye to our waiter who was standing at the entrance and he said “Au revoir, Petite Noisette”…It took me a sec to figure out what he had said but when I did I laughed and had a huge smile on my face! :D…it was so cute!

SO STOKED!

This is a good article and I’m getting super super super anxious for the release!! :)

Hmmm…L’amour?

So I am not writing this in vain but here’s une petite histoire…

I was leaving the house, and as I opened the door I happened to glance upwards and make eye contact with this guy walking on the other side of the street. He smiled, so I smiled, and we both went on our merry ways.  Nothing weird or anything really but I did think afterwards that not a lot of people smile at you in this city when you see them, so that was nice of him.

So I am on my way to Guillame’s school to pick him up and take him to his afternoon drawing class.  I am also rolling up (literally) with a bag of laundry that the mom wanted me to take to the Laundromat which was next door to the art building. 

So I am almost to the school (which is about a 12 minute walk from the house) and I hear this somewhat faint yell. At first I did not pay attention like any other homebred city girl, but since I can only pretend to be true blood, my country roots and curiosity got the best of me and I turned around.  To my surprise I see the dude from when I left hastily approaching me while trying to hide the fact that he is also sucking wind. 

Now this man is older – clearly 35+ from his receding and thinning hairline – looks to have Persian/Middle-eastern heritage with the dark hair, dark eyes, darker skin…not too tall – around my height, maybe slightly taller…not intimidating in the least…and from the evidence of his gasps, somewhat husky - doesn’t do much physical activity. Not exactly my knight in shining armor.

So I turn around and see him hurrying towards me, I’m thinking ok what did I drop and how far ago did I drop it? But he isn’t carrying anything. Hmmm…no time for any other explanations I have to put my invisible interpretation headphones on because he has finally caught up to me. He catches his breath while I stare blankly. Then he starts rattling off as I watch his tongue speed through the tracks of his mouth at 100mph….Something about he is an artist/drawer…this is some of his work – in which he hands me this:

Ok. This is kind of strange but thanks? As I am picking up on about every 30th word that comes spinning out of this train wreck…He is giving me this to color in…because he wants me to have it…this is what i should use to color it in…like this…blah blah…

All I can think of while he’s speaking is: Why is he giving me this? How long has he been following me / did he go out of his way just to give me this? Is he trying to hit on me in a very unorthodox way?What kind of crappy artwork is this? I hope he is not expecting any money from me. Am I reallllly ever going to color this in? If I do, what would I do with it after that? I wish I knew what he was saying. Is this like some sort of project like they have in dive restaurants where the patron’s kids color in the picture and they make a huge collage on the wall by the door, only I should leave this outside the front door (since he obviously knows what building I live in) so he can add it to his collection of rape victims? Lol. :/

I have no idea what facial expression was on my face during this mostly one-sided convo, but I tried to remain interested and like I knew what he was saying. Finally when he stops, I am sure to thank him and wish him a good day and hope that he leaves.  He does and I am left wondering what the hell just happened.

So I am looking at the piece of paper, stumped, and then turn it over.

How nice. Paul 0620382118.

Creeper.

Next Job: Funeral Parlor

Ok so my ‘mom’ is a bit neurotic but in a kind, harmless, she-means-well way.  Today she told me that she used to work in a funeral parlor. Ok? She seems to have had many different occupations in her life because she has also worked in a library and on an archeological dig  – all of which are fitting and pretty cool. 

So I do not know how we started talking about funeral parlors, but anyway she said that about 5 years ago it was extremely hot in Paris. It was August and a lot of shops, families, businesses were closed because it is when people leave town for holidays – ok fine I can see that.  But then she throws this out – That summer a lot of people died. Um ok. What?? Doctor, Doctor…Neurosis? Clearly.

I questioned her statement of people just croaking from the heat. She said yes because a lot of old people were by themselves, no one was around to take care of them, places were closed, etc, etc. Ok whatever. So people were dying in mass quantities that summer.

Needless-to-say business was good for the funeral parlors. Sick yes, but true. :) She said she was working nights and days and people were coming by (avec ou sans the dead I’m not sure – I decided it be best not to go there in fears of ruining our afternoon cafe).

But then she said something very profound to me, which seems to be always the way with genius v. insanity – straddling the line leaning more towards the latter and then out of nowhere shit becomes way too clear.  We had been speaking earlier of work ethic because she just had a tiff with the phone repair shop man. So she said you have to work hard in a funeral home – there is no choice. At first, I was thinking why is that different from any other job – but then it all started to meld. There is not much time so you have to be prepared and speedy. But also you have to be conscious and attentive of the person’s family.  There is hardly any room for mistakes with an immense amount of unspoken pressure because basically you are indirectly hot-potatoing people’s emotions and pain as they go through humanity’s hardest pathos.

So of course you can go through half-assing preparing the dead but it seems as if there are far worse consequences in this particular setting. So she said for all the people out there who are lazy and don’t work hard, would they treat their job the same if they were in a funeral home working on someone whom they knew. Well damn. That’s a new way of looking at things.

Moral of the Story: Whatever you are doing, whatever your career/work/activity/energy you are putting forth – Act like you are in charge of burying someone you love and then think about if you are working as hard in your current situation as you would be in that situation. Probably not, but if you are, at least the dead will be smiling upon you…

Chevy Chase

So i had this flashback tonight while I was sitting at the dinner table by myself – of course everyone else was done and had moved on to other things, yet i was still munching on some grapes –

The image from one of my favorite movie series (Emma, you will appreciate this): National Lampoon’s European Vacation.  While the family is on the airplane they each dream about different things – the Griswold daughter, Audrey, starts dreaming about being the soul member of a Louis XIV-style feast in which she can’t handle. The food keeps coming and coming and she doesn’t have time to eat it all – just watch it for yourself……..Audrey's Dream 

So needless to say as I was sitting there gorged, yet still masticating some grapes with GD pepins my thoughts migrate to this image and how I felt like I had just blown up eating sickening delicious French gastronomy – included on the menu was: Potatoes, Rack of Lamb, Bread, and a Fruit Tray of grapes, clementines, and a new fruit, Kaki (which I found out is a persimmon – I’ve heard of it but never eaten it)

What an AWESOME movie.

“McDo”

I found this article fitting since I ate at Mickey D’s today for lunch with the fam…That makes twice in the past week (even though the first time I just had some fries) and I hardly ever eat fast food anymore. 

Here ye! Here ye! I will only give myself 15 times at McDo my whole time here and that includes drunk food…

Anyway, so the big news for the fickle French is McDonald’s is building a restaurant in the underground “mall”, if you will, of the Louvre.  Oh la, la…Quel désastre!

Haha now I am slightly torn between being a flag-waver and wanting to adopt the French way of being outraged yet passive…but it is comical that people are aghast because they now think that Mona Lisa will wear the perfume of a deep-fryer AND that if Ronald walks through the doors it will inevitably lead to the entire degradation of the museum’s artistic, cultural, and historical preservation ambiance….Um what?

It is interesting though that the stats indicate the French consume the most McD’s out of Europeans – to which I can attest since about 1/3 of the population was in line with us at lunch today vying for that succulent Big Mac or for the herbivores out there salad and bag of fruit?…

2 more things real quick: they did have computers inside where you could pre-order (kind of like Sheetz TGO) and then go pay/get your food so you could somewhat avoid the lines – which seems like a cool system to have AND you can either get their normal fries or they sell seasoned potato wedges that are pretty tasty – I think my 3rd visit will be to check out the McFlurry flavs because I remember Ireland had siiiiick choices for those :)

Things I learned Saturday Night

Germans call cell phones – “Handy’s” and they think that it is common knowledge in other countries that people know to what they are referring

Germans think that Americans have no substance behind them…they are all surface-level airheads – a lot of other Europe countries probably agree

Desperados – a beer with tequila mixed in it = disgusting, don’t buy or drink

No matter how nice you are trying to be – don’t let anyone borrow your cell phone…even if a guy is asking you so he can call a taxi for his drunk ‘friend’ who cannot stand up – because they will inevitably walk off with it and leave you feeling very stupid

Celebrate the small victories while you can because you never know how long they will last (ref to: finally getting my cell phone activated and working only to have it stolen 10 hours later)

Germans have one year after high school as a mandatory military service year and then they can go to college. So if you ever meet a German who is in your grade but 1-2 yrs older than you, don’t judge, that is why.

Late night McDonald’s is just as delicious in Paris as it is in the States.

British accents are quite comforting.

I miss Irish accents.

Randoms

I had my first Starbucks the other day…pretty good in comparison…its about twice as expensive though sooooo wont be making many trips there.

I am going through the freshman 15 again because I eat incessantly everyday – loaves of bread, butter cookies, chocolate biscuits, little almond-flavored sweets, ice cream – pretty much any junk food the kids are also eating at the time. And OMG these things called Speculoos – I CANNOT figure out what the equivalent is in English but the family has tried to tell me that it’s like a caramel cookie but they also have a jar of it that looks like peanut butter…so I don’t know exactly what is it but I am IN LOVE with it!! Dare I say that I like it more than Nutella…definitely bringing back multiple jars/cases/packages of this edible ecstasy.

I experience vertigo every time I go to the bathroom – there are no windows and barely enough room to shut the door

My window would have been perfect for Hitchcock – i have to admit that I love getting a glimpse of the neighbor’s lives…especially the cute guy right across the way that  I will someday say hi to from my room…

Je deteste les pepins! So apparently you cant find seedless grapes around here…I have come to loathe eating grapes for this reason – The seeds ruin the whole experience and it becomes very cumbersome to spit out 4 tiny kernels per grape – I got duped the other day when the mom bought what was said to be seedless grapes; however, they clearly had seeds as I discovered….I will be on the endless search for grapes sans les pepins!

I have never seen anyone iron underwear before…WOW…This is like double shock for me because I NEVER iron anything :/

Alien, Peut-etre?

Can someone please show me where I missed the memo that getting up before the sun was imperative for living in France??

Today I went to take a placement exam to determine my French level…yessssssssss…basically I had to write a short essay and then a longer one…easy.

I talked to the admin people at the school but did not register because in abt 60 days I will be ‘illegal’…eeek…hmm this sounds like a wonderful time to make my next sightseeing trip to the US Embassy….hopefully they will throw this pauvre Parisian bitch a bone

MP + Google

Happy 11th Birthday Googs!

Newest post on Monterey Purple is up!

Rankin

I’m sure I am way out of the high-fashion/photography loop, but i just found my new FAV photographer – Rankin. He’s known around the world as a leading photographer.  He has a very intimate style which I am definitely drawn into with his work. 

Go check out his website now! :)

Le Metro

I love taking the Metro…It’s like my daily dose of P.W.A (People Watchers Anonymous) Usual participants aside from the well-known walk-on-violinists and the I’m-poor-give-me-money-speech persons include:

The one lady that you watch get on and all that is running through your head is oh please, oh please, oh please don’t sit next to me…when inevitably she does…I like to call this woman “The Fidgetor”: You know something doesn’t look right upon first glance - older, slightly unkempt-looking, could almost pass for homeless but you know isn't because of the minimal amount of shit she is carrying…So she sits down and then your whole metro ride you are on edge because every 5 secs she’s moving around, fidgeting with her hands, changing positions in the seat, digging around in her purse – you offer an inquisitive, ‘do-you-need-some-help’ glance in case something is actually wrong and suddenly she freezes and looks your way frantically like someone has just cracked the code on her mental safe…so you quickly look away never really understanding at what the hell she’s doing while next to you which leaves you with an uneasy feeling of discomfort and sometimes paranoia depending on how many ‘cafes’ – aka extra strong espressos – you have had that day

Then there is always “The Creeper” who gets on the metro at the last second and hovers right by the door…so logically you would think that his stop is next and he just wants to make sure he is first off..but no…the next isn’t his stop, nor the one after that, but he still has his nose on the door window, clutching the handle, with just the slightest sway of nonexistent urgency anyway…

If it’s a good day, you will also run into “The PDA Couple”…who, being French of course, find it decently acceptable to flaunt their tongue strength and lack of spatial awareness between each other right in front of you…now PDAing isn’t really my thing and I understand that for some it is…but is it really necessary to pick one of the MOST public places to be an exhibitionist…its not enough to show us all while we’re waiting for the arrival, but once inside the stuffy, cramped, unpleasantly-odored sardine box, you have to continue to act like ya’ll haven’t seen each other since the war began…

Then there is “The Music Lover” – of which I have probably been guilty of being at some point – the one person in the car whose music you can hear even though they are wearing headphones and you are at least 3 seats away from them. Said person is completely oblivious to the stares from others who don’t really care but just want the person to know that their music could be annoying them so clearly they should turn it down…I’ve heard some good stuff so far though

Lastly, you occasionally get “The Other People-Watching Addict” on board in which case ya’lls eyes meet about 5 times per 10 stops which if you’re there for the long haul can get kind of awkward…Both of you, consciously aware of each other, engaging in constant eye-darting from stranger to stranger when you inevitably happen to target, lock, and sink battleship with one another...following is the split-second of recognition, then guilt of being exposed of voyeurism, and by the time the moment passes your eyes are already fixated on the next subject and you have recuperated until the next collision

It is also fun to see what everyone is reading too…I definitely need to brush up on my French literature, but for the most part it has been interesting to see what people bring…I have added Catch-22 to mix

We Salute You, Hailing from America

Who knew corn-on-the—cob could be so magical? I showed the mom how to cook corn in the microwave today (yes, poor form to the cooking gods but easy and fast)…it is basically the same as boiling them in a pot on the stove...

Apparently the kids thought this was the coolest thing EVER! I walk on water to them because I hold the key to all things mystical and American…They were like cats to catnip being induced into a psychosis of pure ecstasy

I made some banana bread the other day also because there were 2 rotting bananas lying around. It was gone in one day.  Guillame is obsessed with French toast because his family in LA made it for him when he went to visit for 2 weeks, so now he thinks that any American food is automatically better…oh if only he knew…and Amos is just entranced with America so of course anything that will get him closer to citizenship (and believe me corn will do just that) he pounces on immediately.

Can’t wait to introduce PB&J to them because that will be the apocalyptic end all be all of food’s Garden of Eden

 

Side note: To make the banana bread I had was limited to which recipe I could use because 1. The family doesn’t have an oven – all they really have is a decent-sized toaster oven from which they somehow produce delicious beef and chicken dishes – I am convinced that there is a herd of petit chefs beneath the oven that steal the food when no one is looking, carry it down to their master 5-star kitchen, and cook everything to perfection before cranking it back up into our kitchen…2. The other prohibiting factor was apparently France does not have brown sugar? I had to run to the grocery to get some vegetable oil (because the family didn’t have any which I feel like is an American staple) and while I was there I looked for brown sugar – couldn't find it – sour cream – couldn't find it – and baking powder – couldn't find it…so i had to make a few adjustments to my banana bread. I also had NO idea how to time the toaster oven thing to make it comparable with 350F so i was also worried about that…BUT I must say that it turned out exceptionally tasty….those petit chefs came through once again…perfectly golden brown – perfect consistency – not too dry, not too moist…it was simply, well, magical.…Take that Julia C.

Bicycle, Bicycle, Bicycle…I Want to Ride My Bicycle

Today I went on a bike ride throughout the city…I just started riding with the hope of finding Montmartre even though I knew it was pretty far away.  My exploration lasted about 1.5 hours and sadly I did not make it to my destination.

+ side: I successfully avoided getting hit, honked at and/or hitting anyone! Yay!

AND some couple stopped me and asked me in French! if this street was the right one to get to Le Sacre-Coeur…I had no idea but I said yes anyway. I knew it was in that general direction…that counts right? I’m sure they got there……..finalement.  I’m just glad I looked French enough to ask AND that I understood the question.  I love passing by all the tourists and pretending I’m a native :)

- side: I have a feeling mon derriere is going to be very sore tomorrow :(

History Time

So the mom told me about L’eglise americaine. I was skeptical at first but decided to try it out today.  Yes, I went to church…one of their services fit into my schedule of 11am and even though I was about 15 minutes late, I got some God in me.  The 2 best things though were – 1. every Sunday they have coffee hour after the service – niiiice and 2. I took a tour of the Church afterwards and learned about it’s history.

The church is international and non-denominational, but has Protestant roots.  It was founded by Americans, hence the name, in 1814 and was the 1st church to be built overseas.  The church was originally built near the Champs-Elysees, but they sold it to the Herald Tribune in the 1920s for a lot of money because they needed to expand. 

The church is 15th century Gothic architecture with many stained glass windows, 2 of which are originals made by Louis Tiffany – a famous glassmaker at the turn of the century.  The organ was crafted by the Beckerath factory in Germany and has more than 3,000 pipes.  This organ is only 22 years old, but the original organ is on display to the left of the alter. 

An interesting story: Apparently during the German occupation many Americans fled Paris; however, the musical director stayed and kept the services going.  So the Germans came after him and he took refuge in the organ.  There doesn’t look like there was any possible way for a person to fit in the organs from looking straight at it. But the director was safe, then fled to the South of France, but later returned.

The 2 Tiffany windows are really cool.  They were different from standard ones because Tiffany used non-traditional colors, multi-textural (is that a word?), superimposed glass with the faces, hands, and feet hand-painted in various thickness.

These windows are classified as national monuments by the French government and they are the only Tiffany windows outside the US.  Right now, there is a Tiffany exhibition going on at the Musee du Luxembourg which would be cool to check out.

Cool Fact: So there are about 10 steel bars going across the windows which I thought were just structural…Well to some extent they are, but I learned that over time glass starts to seep and so with the windows hanging vertically for 100+ years, the top ends up being thinner while the bottom collects thickness…so they put the bars in place to prevent the glass from oozing…

The other windows are normal, but the interesting thing is that they were designed in the US, imported the glass from the UK, and assembled in France – this reminds me of a book I read by Sarah Murray, Moveable Feasts, which explains the globalization of certain foods and the extraordinary distances they travel before reaching our groceries.

Now the good stuff! There were originally catacombs built to be used to keep the dead, obviously…well they never got used for that.  So in the 60s, when the whole boho vibe was happening, the catacombs turned into a coffeehouse (I wish so badly to have witnessed that) where they offered live music – with one of the artists playing guitar being Robert Zimmerman a.k.a BOB DYLAN…..aweeeesome.  The catacombs are now used as the youth groups meeting area.

And my other favorite tidbit of history which has nothing to do with religion entails the 3 previous uses of the land on which the Church was erected:

1. The last thing before the Church was a trashy carnival.  Apparently it was crappy and unsafe, so the city was happy that ACP was taking over.

2. The church is built on an old tobacco warehouse foundation.  The warehouse was owned by a man named Jean Nicot de Villemain who brought over tobacco from Portugal to use it for medicinal purposes, especially thwarting migraines. The word nicotine comes from this dude’s name….cooool

3. There used to also be a Protestant cemetery at some point where the Church is – actually the church used to be on a little island.  And apparently during the St. Bartholomew’s Day Massacre (you know from 10th grade AP European history – worst class of my life – when Catherine de Medici, a Catholic, secretly ordered her men to go in the night and slaughter all the Protestants during the Reformation) all the bodies were dumped into the Seine and floated downstream stopping right at the tip of the island where the Church is now.

Wellll that's all the extremely fascinating and completely non-dull information for today.  I thought it was interesting but that’s also because I have a secret affinity for history and almost wish I had double majored in History & Art History….maybe in another life I say to Bruce the Buddha :)

Mon Quartier

So these are a few pictures from my neighborhood.  It located in the 15th arrondissement – these are Paris’ different areas…there are 20 of them – which is mostly residential.  It is a nice mix of middle-upper class families.

View from the front door

My metro stop – Charles Michels

A few blocks away from my house

Up close

La Seine

The mini Statue of Liberty

Radio France – apparently this building is famous because it it totally circular – but it houses alot of France’s telecommunications and media

Snow Globes

So as welcoming gifts to the family, I bought a stuffed animal wearing a “Virginia is for Lovers” t-shirt, a mug with pictures of historical places and a brief history, a book with Virginia facts, and a Virginia snow globe…

The first day I was there the mom left to run some errands and so I gave the kids their gifts –animal for Alma, book for Guillame, and snow glove for Amos.  Then when the mom returned she was like I got you something and pulls out a snow globe of Paris! That’s when I knew that everything was going to be ok lol. 

Then of course the next day, Alma break BOTH snow globes and gets the water/glitter all over the floor…not quite sure how that happened but I hope it’s not an omen that Paris & Virginia aren’t supposed to be together….

The Discovery Channel

Today was a big day...

I went on a mission to find Mary’s paintings that are being exhibited in a couple of cafes around Paris.  My first time on the Metro went very smoothly (once again this and the Tube totally beat out NYC's system)

The first place (Onzebar) was right by le quartier where she lived which I will coin “Little Allah”.  And of course it was closed on Sundays but I did stop in this place she suggested to get un café (Cannibale) and that is where, true to form, I found my first info abt Paris’ music scene…I am stoked to look up some of the artists mentioned and post them on Monterey Purple.

Anyways apres mon café, I moved on to the next place which involved getting back on the Metro…The other 2 places are in La Marais which has a lot of Jews and bourgeois…definitely liked this area and if I don’t find somewhere like it closer to mon quartier, then I might have to frequent it…it seems less crowded, more small neighborhood-y than where I am…a couple streets of shopping, a few very pretty parks (it reminded me of parts of Dublin)…

The 2nd café was packed with a line out the door for Sunday brunch…I made a quick glance in but couldn’t see any of her paintings up yet…I'll have to check back in a couple weeks…

The next spot was my favorite - Place des Vosges - this was a little square lined with cafes and art galleries avec un jardin in the middle (it reminded me of all the squares in Italy)…I went in a couple galleries and found some dope art.  Here were some of my favorites:

YellowKorner (mostly photography):

Kourtney Roy - this girl reminds me of a Missoni haute couture ad my uncle showed me that he liked:

 

Speaking of ads…my other passion…I really like Orange’s (aka ATT/Verizon) current campaign:

"Il y a internet…et internet" = There is internet…and then there is internet

 

Another print ad consisted of a plain potatoe and then a Mr. Potato Head

Jean Dieuzaide:

Tableau de la faculté de médecine  - Real photo circa ‘68 in Toulouse

Art Symbol Gallery

Dganit

If I am ever Warren Buffet or Bernard Arnault-rich then I am going to buy this painting:

 

I also tried to check out Picasso’s house but somehow it closed Aug 24th for renovations that will last UNTIL 2012...really?!!?…so much for ever seeing that…I also found Victor Hugo’s house but did not tour it b/c I am cheap

Café Hugo was the last place where Mary’s paintings were and so far I hadn’t had any luck, BUT when I found this place which was right in Place des Vosges, there were 3 paintings hanging up right in front of everyone! It was so exciting and I’m sure 10000x more exciting for Mary! I stupidly forgot my camera of course or moreso don’t have batteries so I couldn’t take any pictures…but rest assured they were there, they looked at home, and it looked awesome! Bravo Mary!

**I have since been informed that the first 2 cafes will not debut her paintings until October, so stay tuned for a future post about my Round 2 :)**

L’escrime

Yesterday was my first experience with l’escrime = fencing.  I took Guillame (11) to practice.  He has been fencing for 4 years and according to the teacher it takes 10 years at least before you can be considered a good…fencer? 

It is a difficult sport that requires ALOT more strategy than you would think.  Just from watching, it seems like everything is very systematic and defined – there are set rules, set stances, set plays with the sword in which the opponent has a set counter-play…Just from being there an hour, I learned a lot about this form of art.  Fencing is definitely one of the most underrated, overlooked sport around. I don’t know how popular it is in France, but in the States I have never known anyone to do it.

The building was SO cool…While I was waiting and watching, I grabbed a book that was lying around titled something along the lines of “Random but Elegant Professions in Paris” (you know, giving the behind-the-scenes guys some limelight) which profiled various people and their professions.  Le livre included people such as, the elevator operator for the Eiffel Tower, the lady who does all the speaking for the train stations (that ‘calming’ voice you hear when traveling) and the “Last Musketeer” – the fencing school’s instructor. 

It was pretty cool reading about him in the book while he was standing right there.  He was a PE professor, I believe, who started the school in 1971 bringing to fruition his childhood dream.  La salle d’armes (armor/weapons room) which is what it is called is located in the Latin Quarter which definitely holds a very antiquated, yet trendy aura.  It was my first time in this area and it’s definitely right up my alley…I think that I will be looking forward to Wednesdays more and more…

Anyway, the building is one of the oldest in Paris and the decor of la salle d’armes has not been changed since its creation in 1886.  Apparently it was always used for fencing/weapons/armor/whatever other chivalrous things Parisians did back in those days and has been passed down by only a few owners.  There were papers hanging on the walls from the early 1900s and metal tools and scraps lining the walls next to all the helmets, swords, and other paraphernalia (which I'm sure have actual terms that i am completely ignorant to).

Maybe one day I will get to see the great Maitre Jean-Pierre Pinel de la Taule in action!

Amos

 

Nickname: The Pistol

BEWARE: If you see him on the streets, take caution

Description: Dangerously cute, actor extraordinaire, and ridiculously persistent

Profile: This is Amos.  He is 4. He goes to an American music and dance preschool with his sister, Alma.

Yesterday while we were having the 'lunch' that he prepared, he mustered out his first phrase in frenglish - Kacee, do you want une cuisse de poulet? Bravo. 

When brushing his teeth, he enjoys using the tub as a spitting trough.

He is very fond of pirates and pirate ships.  He also enjoys Tom & Jerry and Mickey Mouse.  He wants to go to NYC one day and own a Hummer. Bonne chance mon ami.

Also as of today I learned that he had an accident when he was being born - apparently the doctor messed his right arm up during the delivery and was half-paralyzed until last year. His mom was explaining how he struggled alot to do certain things because his arm would not function right but he kept trying and trying.  Now it is better thank goodness but my heart does go out to the little chump, or should I say champ...

Le Grand Pari

Some friends of the oldest son came over last night and one of them told me about a new project currently underway within the city.

So I did a little research on Le Grand Pari and this is what I found...

Prez Sarkozy wants to change Paris, some say for the worst. At first glance his plans sound very appeasing to the general public and in the right direction for this modern, technology-driven era, i.e. more parks, a monorail going through the city, expansion of the city outward into the surrounding towns/suburbs thus creating small industry niches. Basically an economical re-vamping and social makeover of the city, which would entail combining the grandiose towns of Versailles and Vincennes, the more modest, simple towns, and then the lower SES towns such as Clichy-sous-bois. 10 architects from all over the world have been commissioned to submit proposals for the project. For all you engineering/architect/CAD lovers out there, you can check out their models here - some are pretty cool

Definitely an ambitious endeavor that has attracted a swarm of controversy.



Side note: I was reading some news about back home - namely Cville - and I came across a story about trapping a gray fox at Lambeth Field and subsequently killing it because it may have been the same rabid one that attacked 2 people. So of course the SPCA, who did the euthanizing because the only way to test for rabies is to examine the brain, is getting flak from pro-PETA-ers questioning their values, morals, blah blah blah….anyway among the many reader comments my favs were definitely:

"This is deplorable! Why do humans think it is okay to just exterminate anything that may or may not be a danger to people, or because there are “too many” of them?! How about we exterminate some people who are just taking up space?! And for Charlottesville to be so progressive and “green” - what the world?!"

"Why don’t you just interrogate it and find out where the sweater is [apparently it tore off someone's sweater] and then let it go? That should be punishment enough for his wild time on campus"

Haha classic. AND can someone PLEASE explain to me how this this was even created, let alone selling for $17?!!? REALLY?!

The King's Pavillion

I want to stay here whenever I come back and visit Paris in the future...

Le Pavillon de la Reine

RIP Conair 1875

My hair dryer decided to die today going out with the sound of one last dying wheeze which ce n’est pas bon pour moi. So I might have to go in search of a new one…I love my hairdryer and it works awesome in the States and every time I go abroad I try SO hard to make it work and it never does L…I blew it up in Dublin and so my current one is a result of that and now this one has passed as well…it will be greatly missed

My goals for this week: buy a hair dryer, buy some batteries, and buy a phone!

These Boots Were Made for Walking

So I went on a long walk today and this is what I found:

1. The Eiffel Tower. That is basically my North Star around here…wherever that is in relation to me I can find my way home.

2. Sojade (http://www.sojade.fr/) - as I was walking sur le promenade of the Eiffel Tower there was some kind of ‘festival’ going on…I couldn’t quite figure out what it was - half of the booths pertained to health and fitness and the other half was ‘Made in Africa‘…there was also a big stage with music and public dancing

The important part of this is one of the booths was giving away free samples so if you know me I definitely helped myself - no language barrier will ever come btwn me and food - I learned that soja is soy so I guess I had some kind of soy strawberry yogurt….it was amazing! Je souhait que on vient aux États-Unis!! If not, I will be the first to set up a franchise for it… it is 100% vegetarian and probably vegan in this case since its made of soy…I might have to make a request when Nicole asks me what I want from the grocery next time.

Ps - I just had the BEST mixed berry crumble ever following camembert and the DUCK we ate for dinner…I’m pretty sure I got really lucky on finding a family that knows how to eat well and make it taste ridiculously good too…oh, it is also difficult for me to grasp the whole cheese thing as a separate course - last night we had some cheese and wine after dinner - ok fine that is dessert I know this, so tonight when we had the camembert after dinner I was thinking this is dessert…however when they were like who is ready for dessert??…I gave a mouth-dropping look of Moooore? I don’t know how people stay so skinny

3. Zara! I love having been deprived in Richmond and Charlottesville of this store…not that it is anything special but it just makes me tingle with excitement when I find one abroad…I think that I have been to more Zara’s in other countries than the US - maybe I should start tracking my travels with Zara thumb tacks?

4. I am still looking for the perfect little café to make my own, so I will let you know when I discover that buried treasure - I came closer today but it still awaits me…I did see some cool places that I want to try out though whenever YOU come visit me or I make a friend lol (I might be waiting awhile for the former so I had to include the latter)




-and yes i was wearing boots :)

La Langue

I think the thing that will take the most getting used to is that French do not have a verb for “to get”…I’m pretty sure 85% of the sentences that I form in my head when thinking about what I am going to say before saying it have the word ‘get’ in them. Where can I get some change? How do I get there? When do the kids get out of school? UGH we are so lazy - we have one verb for to describe like 20 different things and I don’t even really know how to define “to get” anyway.

But the good thing about this is I am forced to get (dammit) creative with the words…so instead of getting change - where can I obtain (ou obtenir) and get out of school = retourner ou partir or any of the other many different words there are for “to leave”

Sneaky French - A Little Social Commentary

So I have been having a few techinical difficulties with the internet around here but hopefully it will be constant from now on...if not I will post thigns in bulk whenever the connection decides to cooperate...




I forgot that Europe doesn’t buy into the Super-Size factor that floats corporate monstrosities like Wal-Mart and Costco, so when I went to buy some shampoo I think 3.50€ is a fair price for Pantene b/c that’s close to what I normally pay…but then I realize that I’m getting abt half the quantity…I guess I can almost buy into the better bang for your buck psychology that runs our society…

I have two opinions on this matter --

1. I need all the ignoramamus’ of our country to go to Europe (France preferred, obviously) to buy some shampoo so they can really appreciate what we offer in terms of more for less, instead of condemning our indulgent ways.

2. People need to use some discretion on what they make big (the Golden Arches come to mind and every other place that gets blamed for driving our bodies to obesity). Some things, yes, please give me bulk (Nutella - remember the jar I bought in Italy mom?, Extra bubble gum, tissues, shampoo/conditioner, etc ) but make them essentials…

Now the only problem is who is to decide what is necessary to deem bulk-worthy? Me? You? Big Brother? Marvin the Martian? Ah, zut alors!!


Semi-Side note: The dad explained to me more abt what he does (the 1st real conversation I’ve had with him which lasted about 2 mins….yesssss breaking records here people) and he finances digital equipment for theaters/films…pretty cool…he has connections with people at Fox, Disney, etc and flies to Los Angeles fairly often -- hmmm maybe ill become a movie star J -- anyway he is the only company of his kind in France and one of three in Europe

Ok the interesting part: I asked him why there is no other competition (it was at that moment that I realized I am an economist at heart…eeek) b/c going through my head was how does this dude have a monopoly on such a lucrative market?

His first response was b/c no one believed that the direction the world was going in was digital…so Mr. Mizrahi broke the ice 3 years ago and now has enough money to pay some quack like me to watch their kids …isn’t life grand?

Anyway he started his company 3 yrs ago when everyone thought he was crazy (memories of leadership are tumbling back) b/c he saw what was happening with the industry over here - I guess I should say over there, where ya’ll are…

Then I asked if people believed him now and he said yea and that he has the only business b/c the government has its hand in everything so it has been hard for people to compete…its not really a free market --- well damn that was smack in the face with global reality…how I have taken for granted being able to start any business whether it be something as stupid as a Sham Wow (totally had to get my Billy Mays tribute in there) or grandiose as the companies that feed the fuel for our obsession with bulk quantities and bargains.

PS - Be proud mom - I bought the Pantene on sale and saved 2€

Day 3

Today I had alot of firsts...and not just particular to France...

Alors,

1. I ate a real fig! Kenzie, Becky and David -- this is insane that this happened right after we talked about it the other day and me having never had one...i know what ur talking about now in that the inside is nothing like you'd expect...i decided that i do like them and could eat alot of them at once just like i do with jars of pickles...mais non, take out the sugar and gross American preservatives in fig newtons and you get a delicious, gooey fruit that has just enough sweetness to melt in your mouth and mask the tiny seeds u don't know whether to actually chew or not (another side note for Kenzie, Becky, and David -- that cous-cous type ate at lunch that i don't remember the name of / didn't really listen to the lady when she started saying it was something foreign from South America - well im pretty sure i had it again last night at dinner...it was a different flavor tomate-based but damn good) I don't think I've mentioned but my family is half-vegetarian...the mom told me today that her and the dad are veggies but the kids eat meat and this excludes fish because that has been our main dish so far...the kids also drink soy milk...awesome i get a sweet mix of traditional french food as well as some healthy, organic diets or whatever u want to call this hip wave of nutrition that made places like Whole Foods, Ellwood Thompson, and GIY the new thing

2. We went to the Luxembourg Gardens today...Nicole (also my new best friend and mommy idol) took me on a little tour on our way...passed by the Eiffel Tower (still not real to me), la louvre, le musee d'orsay, bridge with the golden lions (Invalids Bridge or something like that que Napolean created b/c he felt so close and connected with all his soldiers when in reality it was probably guilt for dragging them through hell so he better give the peg-legs and the quadriplegics a bit of the legendary limelight...anyway the gardens were very pretty and i want to go back at some point

3. The gardens are where I took part in my first french kiss...but only as a voyeur...it was so typical...this 13/14 yr old girl and boy escaped a big public place with some friends after school then went off by themselves sat down beside the fountain and started awkwardly getting closer and holding hands and moving in...it was kidna cute but u can never escape the tinge of awkwardness lingering no matter how distant u are from such a romantic moment...

4. I am about to eat some Ratatouille - yes like the Dreamworks movie! Apparently Nicole can make it really well so I am all over that. Bon appetit!

Qu'il y a dans ta couche?

Lesson 2: It is easy to see why Americans are considered way more conservative as a whole than Europe, especially the French. Today our naptime story was "What's in your diaper" (hence the title)? Le livre went through all these baby animals asking what their shit looked like in their diaper...It took me awhile to figure out why the hell the mom would be reading this book to the kids but then by the end it was revealed that nothing was in the baby mouse's diaper b/c he used the toilet prompting kids to get potty-trained...yayyyyy!

Then later that day was my first diaper change and guesssss what was in it...haven't had to do that in awhile. Can someone explain to me why a 2 yr old is still in diapers?? I'm not an expert but based on my encounters with Zayley, who might barely be 1.5, has already started her training and by now is probably getting pretty good at it.

Also i wish someone could explain to me why the 4 yr old still has a pacifier - i think ive heard by 5, which is an extreme, if they still have it, it could start to be a psychological issue that needs to be addressed - i feel like by 3 kids start getting weened...

fun fact: the french think the english translation for pacifier is "dummy" havent heard that one before (i think the actual french term is titrine or something close to that)

Sniff Sniff

Lesson 1: Apparently rubbing lavender behind the ears and on the neck chases lice away. Interesting...so for most of the morning having douses all three kids the downstairs smelt like lavender. C'est bon.